a JJ Abrams production.

a JJ Abrams production.

epic

feels good to be alive. 

a damn privilege.

the cave.
acrylic on canvas.

the cave.

acrylic on canvas.

hidden.
watercolor and oil on paper.

hidden.

watercolor and oil on paper.

submerged.
ink and watercolor on canvas.

submerged.

ink and watercolor on canvas.

it still applies

growing up, i remember the celebration of creativity.

yes, i remember the sense of pride my parents felt the first time i had made something of worth. then the adulation of close friends slowly followed. then, a teacher. the circle was growing. i felt immense. soon, it became almost perverse - the pleasure attained by seeing pleasure reflected in the eyes of others became a constant drug. i appreciated being appreciated. soon, the word “impress” became such an integral part of my dictionary that i got lost in my need to always succumb to the word. impressed, yes, everyone was.

then came the day when the comfortable circle of adulation had to be broken - i had to move away for education, and life. all of a sudden, the bubble burst. once i left behind the people who adored, i realised what a simpleton i had been - i had meandered over to the region of despair because i realised it was easier to impress others than to be satisfy myself.

so, the lines changed, the words remained the same, the work became darker and bleaker, and suddenly i had found the right colour - my colour. my friends frowned, and others scratched their heads; soon adulation was replaced by careful smiles.

this time, it did not matter, because to impress oneself is the only reason to create; everything else is a byproduct other desires. to appease myself, i had to let go of the act of appeasing others. a daunting task, but one which bared more fruit to me once i began to wonder how laughably abhorrent it must be to live by the standards of others.

yes, i remember the celebration of creativity. it was the stupidest years of my life.

here’s a short film i made.

thearcticcat:

"Solitary walk in a crowded street, Thousand of eyes, not a single one meet" (at Vague - Footsteps)

thearcticcat:

"Solitary walk in a crowded street, Thousand of eyes, not a single one meet" (at Vague - Footsteps)

i’m surrounded by brilliant people. some are excellent musicians, others are indie filmmakers, and many are artists - painters, illustrators, graphic designers.
but the thing is, i’m also surrounded by people who work hard. people who could not reach their fanciful childhood goals and yet, they refuse to compromise with themselves. people who provide for their families. people who sacrifice, yes, but never compromise. 
not being an artist or a creative person does not automatically devalue a person.
not being an artist or a creative person simply means you have a better understanding of life - of strength, stability, and security - and that makes you infinitely better than i.
this portrait of myself was done by a friend who never compromised. thank you.

i’m surrounded by brilliant people. some are excellent musicians, others are indie filmmakers, and many are artists - painters, illustrators, graphic designers.

but the thing is, i’m also surrounded by people who work hard. people who could not reach their fanciful childhood goals and yet, they refuse to compromise with themselves. people who provide for their families. people who sacrifice, yes, but never compromise. 

not being an artist or a creative person does not automatically devalue a person.

not being an artist or a creative person simply means you have a better understanding of life - of strength, stability, and security - and that makes you infinitely better than i.

this portrait of myself was done by a friend who never compromised. thank you.