i got carded at a movie theater today.
i’m 25.
25.
twenty
five.

i got carded at a movie theater today.

i’m 25.

25.

twenty

five.

it’s tough being a human.

firstly, there’s this whole walking thing. and then there’s tax filings. and all the millions of things that happen in between.

sentience and self-awareness be damned, i’d rather be a part of the food chain. prance around like a goat and take a dump like a horse anywhere i please.

of course, it’s not realistic. it’s not even idealistic; it’s fantastical. it’s very simple to run away from problems (specially if you’re half-goat, half-horse, i imagine), thanks to our brain that allows us to constantly live in increments of time that are either the past or the future. the present? it’s just a medium for our musings of what-if’s and shouldn’t-i’s.

yeah, yeah, yeah, i know this is not some new, life-altering information that i’ve stumbled upon, and most of you have probably figured this out for yourselves through your life experiences anyway. still, by merely understanding this idea of never living in the present has made my life infinitely simpler and easier to understand, and i’m thankful that i realised it not through some asinine idiot’s blog post on the internet, but via self-introspection. 

tl;dr - i dare you to take a dump in a field somewhere.

edgar.
acrylic on canvas.

edgar.

acrylic on canvas.

rage.
watercolor on paper.

rage.

watercolor on paper.

hidden.
colored pencils on paper.

hidden.

colored pencils on paper.

this thing

is still here?

nice.

i thought that, just like everything else, the moment i turned away from here, this website disappeared. but no. it didn’t. and that’s a problem. i wish it had disappeared. i wish things disappeared when i turned away from them. but since they don’t, this website, and the other things in my life that i refuse to conquer, deserve to be met head on so i can look myself in the mirror and know that i am the king of my hill. it’s the only way. from this moment on, i refuse to look over my shoulder in fear.

…maybe in like five minutes.

letting go.
acrylic on canvas.

letting go.

acrylic on canvas.

the watchtower.
oil on canvas.

the watchtower.

oil on canvas.